I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
