Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
