i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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