well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
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I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
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I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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