I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Randomize
