If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
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She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
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What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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