you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
