if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Just puked most of my soul out..
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
