We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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