I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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