You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
