WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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