i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
