is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
