i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
