I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
