The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
