Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
