Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
