um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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