you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
