i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
