Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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