So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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