So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
