i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
