Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
