Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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