i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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