so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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