i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I need to calm my uterus...
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
