kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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