That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
