So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
