You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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