Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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