she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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