I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
