i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
