So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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