dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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