one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
