Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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