she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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