you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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