If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
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I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
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LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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