dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
