he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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