Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize