bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Randomize
