i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
