Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
now i know why i became what i already was.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
