the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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