You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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