The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
