If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
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