who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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