i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
