I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.