Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.

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  (517) 6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning. http://tfl.nu/t7a0
  Replies (2) Good night (1042) Bad night (378) Order T-Shirt
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  (212): View more from New York

  She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.

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  (212): She was not exactly lady-like. Down there. http://tfl.nu/8oh7
  Replies (7) Good night (538) Bad night (1507) Order T-Shirt
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.

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  (586): I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault. http://tfl.nu/nhl8
  Replies (14) Good night (2658) Bad night (947) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment

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  (916): awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment http://tfl.nu/ypy1
  Replies (35) Good night (435) Bad night (3309) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.

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  (416): Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck. http://tfl.nu/lba2
  Replies (16) Good night (7159) Bad night (992) Order T-Shirt
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am

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  (506): I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am http://tfl.nu/t74t
  Replies (14) Good night (1528) Bad night (2668) Order T-Shirt
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  (806): View more from Texas

  He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out

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  (806): He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out http://tfl.nu/voyg
  Replies (4) Good night (1896) Bad night (728) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.

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  (519): I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore. http://tfl.nu/9p2a
  Replies (4) Good night (1213) Bad night (732) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.

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  (210): so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail. http://tfl.nu/722m
  Replies (8) Good night (1489) Bad night (476) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.

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  (307): puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done. http://tfl.nu/58vm
  Replies (3) Good night (2101) Bad night (490) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.

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  (801): Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight. http://tfl.nu/mlx0
  Replies (11) Good night (1897) Bad night (369)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell

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  (217): She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell http://tfl.nu/6kpc
  Replies (6) Good night (487) Bad night (1279) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on

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  (313): Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on http://tfl.nu/edc7
  Replies (11) Good night (945) Bad night (303) Order T-Shirt
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.

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  (647): Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May. http://tfl.nu/snqw
  Replies (9) Good night (1314) Bad night (379) Order T-Shirt
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement

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  (787): I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement http://tfl.nu/yxd8
  Replies (3) Good night (211) Bad night (526) Order T-Shirt

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