finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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